The perfect wedding, an idea that stands in the way of your perfect wedding

Perfectionism is not a quality. At least not so extreme, which paralyzes us and does not allow us to advance. Over a year ago I learned that you can’t wait for certain things to get done, with the idea that over time you will make them perfect. Because the world doesn’t wait for you to have the perfect thing. The perfect website, the perfect cake shop, the perfect office, the perfect photography equipment, etc. If we waited for everything to be perfect until we took action, we wouldn’t do anything…

The wedding industry is built entirely on the idea of ​​perfection. The wedding must be perfect and dreamlike, otherwise there is no wedding and no one sells «arranged» weddings. The suppliers have exploited the brides’ sensitivity for beautiful things and the justified interest in this moment, to the point of making non-sensational weddings different from the «perfect» ones. obvious, No one would buy a «less than perfect» wedding, a «semi-percentage» wedding, or one with slight perfection. This even if, in reality, this perfection is not defined by anyone. There is no measurement standard. Just the idea. And that’s where it comes from the real nightmare.

Most marriage agencies don’t deliver perfect, packaged, home-delivered weddings, only good ones to put directly above the fireplace. This is clear and can be seen from the plane. Weddings are neither 100% perfect, nor extraordinary, nor any other superlatives. Most are trivial. Some are successful. Few are truly special. How perfect will it be?

A hard blow happens on the shoulders and head of the bride, who no longer knows where to take care of the perfect people who will work on her event… Well, ready, you don’t understand. This type of mentality, which would be just a small, shy seed if an entire industry didn’t exist, explodes. And it blocks us. We begin to no longer see the forest because of the trees. We give up the unexplored path and come to choose the same things that we see everywhere and don’t like, just because I’ve seen them so many timeslive or just on various dating sites, next to the «Perfect» label.

We can lock all the great ideas and all the interesting projects in a labeled closet «Nice but not perfect». We give up the wedding with handmade details, the program with games for the guests, the vase with flowers, the decor without many flowers on the tables, everything that falls into the sphere of things that are still unstoppable, not yet reached perfection. Because it’s hard to drive it crazy on an unpaved road. It’s complicated to do things that aren’t commonly done. Because we are somewhere with a soul divided by doubts, questions. You don’t have a photo with that «It’s exactly how I want it to be». You don’t know if what you saw only on a diagram drawn on a corner of paper, during a meeting with the Wedding Planner, will be the same or more beautiful. And you give up. Completely.

Then we lose. All. We have to lose many things that could say something about us. It could be a wedding less boring and less boring. We hold on to the collage of saving already used items, «Wedding-APPROVED» colors, program recipes, planning, budget, etc. And we miss the extraordinary things. Those little details that seem unnecessary or too complicated. Who move forward with commitment and great confidence in something you still can’t get your hands on. But they are not perfect at all. It takes your breath away. They are magical.

***

Almost every day we admire images of American weddings and talk about how beautiful they are. But it is difficult for us to put such ideas into practice. Because we are afraid to step out of the shadow of perfection that others have created for us. The reason why there are so many beautiful weddings all over American blogs is precisely this Some people aren’t afraid of imperfect things. They have the courage to put an idea into practice without stinking all over the place and ultimately discover that it’s too complicated or too different. I don’t think it’s necessarily a cultural thing, there are things that we’ve just learned that, for them, have been practiced for a long time.

I know that there are things that change, that there are some vendors that do everything we see on Pinterest and more. I know that there are bold couples, willing to give up perfectly, for beauty. But we’re not there yet. Our weddings still don’t look their best, they aren’t ventilated as they should and have a thick layer of dust, which will be cleaned up over time, not with a blessed storm.

When you choose your house, don’t buy it because it is perfect, but because you like it, it suits you, you see that you will live there for a few decades. We don’t get a nice car just because the ad says it’s perfect. We evaluate what is best for us with all of life’s important decisions. I think so too Marriage deserves the same attention and consideration. Be perfect, but for you.

Photo: Jambor Photography (from a special wedding, with details far from «perfection» and extraordinarily beautiful)