How different is your «different»?

I can describe it in scenic detail. The feeling of wanting something different, unheard of and interesting, to leave everyone speechless. At the wedding, of course. At your wedding, more precisely. I know how you feel when you tell me that you are a «professional guest», that you have seen everything and that nothing (anymore) impresses you. That you would like to do everything behind your back, just to be different.

The need to be different. To be otherwise, better/strong/smart/brave/terrible/inventive, etc. In terms of marriages, the «different» arises out of opposition to «tradition». And here I do not mean an opposition to the traditional popular wedding, but to the “tradition” of some services, some extremely weak or kitsch, others simply too widespread in weddings.

I understand that you don’t want a wedding like others. I don’t want that for anyone either. I know that moment when you went to a wedding with a banal party, which didn’t convey anything special to you. “Mine will be different!” You said, hoping you could cope with the leap into the unknown, uninhabited, incessant. And you got ahead of me, or someone else, and lost your advantage. You’ve started, easily, planning a wedding.

The ways to have that «different» feeling at a wedding are not infinite. On the contrary, there are only a few. Because on the one hand we have a void of dedicated services (opinion of those looking for a business niche). On the other hand, marriage has a «standard» format that no one should ignore: we talk about that side with two people who get married and invite relatives and friends to celebrate the moment together. This is the impossible skeleton of every marriage. And we have to «play» with some choices that we hope will achieve a different result from what we have seen, compared to what we will «need» so far in the wedding. When we talk and to budget less than or equal to averagewe already have to seriously put our creativity to work to create a different scenario.

Then, Marriage is not a show. Even if it could become one, I think it shouldn’t. The wedding is not a party like many others, but not an amalgam of artistic programs, surprising moments and extravagant menus. Additionally, when you think of your wedding in apocalyptic, “all or nothing” terms, you should keep in mind that people, in general, and your guests are certainly no exception, know what to expect from a wedding and “accept” it as it is – more often than not with a drama of enthusiasm. With all the routine, with tradition or a little modern, with the line of dishes, with the music that is usually danced to at weddings.

What I mean is this Marriage is not a terrible monster waiting to be changed Only in something good and incredible. It’s not the worst thing in the world, even if it happens by outdated standards. To change everything, we would first need to change the entire supplier market. Or go to the brain of the mountains (or a desert island) and do exactly what you want, without taking into account your loved ones. I am convinced that you will not be so determined as to ignore some rituals, you will not go on an expedition, where you will do it secretly and you will want nothing more than an incident-free party, with music and good food, where everyone feels the things you feel. Because that’s what weddings are for, after all!

How different do you want your wedding to be? Where do we draw the line and say that’s too much? It will go well with «otherwise» weddings. And it would be better to show the whole landscape if you filled it with authentic weddings. With marriages in which the need to be different is not put first, but only at the service of making the right choices. If we started from the essence and not from the details. And believe me that when you are tied in your life with the person you love most in the world, All other things are details.

The next time you think about your wedding, I urge you to do a little analysis on whether it is necessary for you to be different. What you feel is not part of you and what you want to change. Don’t assume from the start that it’s easy (or cheap) to do differently than everyone else does. And try not to change anything just for the sake of demonstrating, in a tour of strength, that your (marriage) is something that has never been seen. Because it is possible to cost a long time. Because it is possible to exhaust all your energy resources, even with the help of a wedding planner. Because it might simply be an emotional journey that isn’t worth experiencing.

Draw your own conclusions. Be healthy and spend on your sulfate weddings!

Photo seen on www.nuntafoto.ro – Aurel Vîrlan