Why organize the wedding for yourself?

It seems selfish at first glance and overwhelming. What do you mean by planning the wedding for yourself, what will the guests say, mum, dad how do you think they would react? At the same time, and I am perfectly aware of the contradiction, it seems like a breath, because obviously you will do it for yourself, as you want and as you dreamed as a child. It has already entered the usual language of any wedding service provider: «Marriage is about you«», «What do you want it to matter?«AND»Stop listening to the advice of X and Y, do what you want and so”.

Since it is in my nature to contradict, but also because I avoid extremes, in general, lately, I have easily begun to distance myself from this discussion. It’s tiring to repeat this to a future bride It’s his special day AND do as he wants. And it’s quite rude to tell her the opinions of her mother and future in-laws It does not matter. That her lifelong friends, who know her infinitely better than you (or me), have no reason to think about her marriage. But you have…

We need to find a balance It is ridiculous to believe that you can celebrate the wedding just for yourself, it would also mean passing on the marital status and then taking the first plane to an eternally sunny destination. This is what I’ve started telling myself lately. And I have practiced this type of speech enough, that I have started to transmit it further, probably I have reached some of my clients, who have doubts about some trivial choices or who feel pressured to make decisions in a direction that does not represent them at all.

I realized that I had started talking about compromise and marriage, in the same sentence, some time ago. In fact, I hadn’t really understood what this sounds like until now, when a friend of mine announced to me that, surprise!, I was getting married 🙂 and I started, almost predictively, to explain to her that there are some things that are great for reaching a compromise with the important people in her life (her future husband, who has something to say, for example).

I am convinced of it It is better to avoid unnecessary discussions And to reach as little agreement as possible for both sides, but this topic was not something that needed to be addressed in this way. So I started thinking about how things actually are.

I figured You can organize the wedding for the parentsrelatives and rubies, in which case, most likely, the marriage will acquire a certain traditional, classical specificity. You can do this for several reasons and there is nothing wrong with that. If you realize this from the beginning, the easier the better!

OR You can organize the wedding for friends -A modern, non-conformist or simply super-distractive party. And here we can imagine how things will go, obviously the rules will be violated and the traditions ignored. It can be a lot of fun, these parties look better in photos, and when you see them, you don’t want them to end.

Exactly that It is difficult to separate them AS. You don’t see many weddings to which only young people are invited, just as you don’t see many weddings to which only their parents, relatives and friends are invited. Most of the time it’s a mix and these different people have you in common. This is the idea of ​​​​marriage: squeeze the small with the large, the straight with the crooked, the beautiful with the ugly, all come to celebrate those who are blessed on X day, to wish them well and so on. So it makes sense to think about your marriage and be a little selfish. Believe what you like, they have to like it for a day tooespecially since they accepted the invitation. To accept you and to discover you willingly Tastes, passions, dedication or creativity that you have demonstrated.

Furthermore, Fear that people don’t feel comfortable if you do things the way you think is best, whether we’re talking about receiving guests, menus or music, it’s unjustifiable. Except for guests with «obligations», which you won’t feel good no matter what you doin most cases, the rest of the guests will also align surprisingly easily with the rules imposed by the game you want to participate in.

I have learned in recent years to I don’t judge people according to standards Too tight, because, most of the time, they will surprise me and react in exactly the opposite direction. The old woman having fun with the cocktail bar and other modern services and young people dancing to Romanian time. Generally guests impressed by things done with great sense personal. I welcome all reactions of this kind and you must believe me that they are not occasional. Every time We proposed different things Or personalized, we managed to carry the invitations with us, effortlessly, taking into account only a little common sense, such as open and efficient communication.

Weddings are common events with a rather classic structure, in general. What makes them special is that they are your. That it is you who lives them and not the others. That you are the ones celebrating yourselves.

If you take yourself out of the equation, you’re left with just one event, and no matter how well organized or fun, it will be impersonal. I’m not saying you have to stand out with your wedding, but that you have to live it for younot for your guests. They will go to five weddings in the same year, enjoy the parties of several other couples.

You have a wedding. It is possible that this may scare you or encourage you. Either way is fine, it means you knew what was at stake 🙂