Why is Bridezilla a bride?

I’m back fresh from the mini-censorship and have some things to clear up, and today I thought I’d teach a vocabulary lesson. From the language of weddings there is an ugly word, which I don’t like at all and which makes me want to scratch my eyes every time I read it. Bridezilla (i.e. the Godzilla bride, the one who can no longer be hysterical and moldy) is the word and I would like to dismantle it, easy-light, to reassure the writers of articles who advise us how not to be so.

First of all, what does Bridezilla mean? She is a woman who prepares for marriage and does not deal with all the problems, stress, emotions and becomes irritable. Our bride is also extremely pretentious, extremely bossy and is hated by everyone around, just because she is a bride. Stop. And let’s go a little. I haven’t seen him live and alone. I’ve seen it in American movies and reality shows, from there, extremely poorly directed. I mean, I am convinced that there are women with less education, but I have not yet met the person who matches the above description even 20%. And I have had all kinds of experiences, with more or less high demands.

Let me tell you an “awesome” secret: there is no bridezilla. In short, a normal woman in charge will not automatically transform into a monster just because she organizes her wedding (with or without a wedding planner, there is no big difference). This dinosaur-headed bride is an exaggeration, a myth created to sell some movies and maintained by almost the entire wedding industry (not necessarily the local one) to sell various «solutions» to each bride’s «problems». I would like to say more, to create a story around the idea and present it as a great revelation. But the truth is simple, it’s in front of me and I want to tell you quickly and move on.

Because, however, women who get married early sometimes become, in a row or together: crisis, hysterical, paranoid, panicked, frustrated, nervous, impatient, depressed and the list goes on with all the emotional vocabulary available. Why? First of all because both they and those around them expect it. «Be careful not to become a stressed bride!», «You’ll become a bridezilla!» Or «be careful, it will be extremely stressful, you’ll see!» There are expressions that every bride-to-be hears at some point. Or what he says alone, in thought, with the fear of not «changing» too much because he organizes his wedding. In psychology we use the term «fulfilled prophecy» or Pygmalion effect, while in sociology we have the theory of social labeling. In both cases it is the same thing: the individual (in our case the bride) will wear it as she or those around her expect.

Some examples:

• Wedding planning is extremely stressful, so we will stress as much as possible, so that «you must», be;
• “It’s your wedding, you don’t have to worry about anything,” it turns out that only you know how best and that you can trample on anyone’s opinion;
• Photos are the most important thing at the wedding: we underline and make a list of everything that needs to be photographed, to know that the gentleman who takes «photos» does not miss any corner of the restaurant;
• You will experience the greatest emotions with flowers or decor: why not stress over every flower strand, every tone, shade or color? etc.

The internet is full of advice and stories, of recipes to «wear out» and become more relaxed. But why assume from the head nurse that it will be stressful? Why should we stop ourselves from doing it because it will be hard and tiring? When it can’t be that good. We must, first of all, not take it so seriously. We no longer shout that our service is essential, crucial, peaceful, healing and miraculous. It is necessary that the people involved, both service and marriage providers, frankly admit that it is a day, that everything goes faster than they say «bridezilla» and that nothing is important and precious, except in cases where it is so 🙂

Another reason why brides are more stressed, nervous or anxious is related to the wedding. That is, it matters, it is a moment of life that, through age-old traditions, marketing and fairy tales, has been transformed into «IT», that unique and fabulous event, which is worth doing/expert/pointing/committing to. And I can’t «fight» with this. It’s a fact. And I accept it exactly like this, because otherwise I, Wedding Planner, would have nothing to do here.

So I urge you to make a common effort: let’s not label. Let’s behave naturally, to enjoy what we have and be happy with what is to come. Let’s start from the assumption and also leave teleshopping to those who «taste» such advertising.

PS – Elegance is an educable characteristic!

Photo credit: Fotopovesti (Chris Nemes)